Alluring Alarm CH7 - LatSea

I sat on my bed, staring up at the ceiling with wide eyes. Raivis had told me not to come over, and not to call him. That had been a few days ago. I hadn't done so because I wanted to respect him, but I just really wanted to see him. He didn't call me or tell me anything, so I didn't even know if he was over at Russia's yet. I told Papa, who told Finland, but they just said they'd think of something. …Yeah. They didn't seem to be all that surprised that I said I loved Raivis, either. At least, Papa wasn't. I saw Finland was a little surprised, but smiled. Too bad I didn't tell them earlier. Maybe things would have been different if I had said anything at all earlier.

I sat up, pushing myself off of my bed and picked up the phone, my finger hovering over the number panel to punch in Raivis's number. "Peter, please don't call me either, okay?" I could hear his voice force out in a worried tone as I had left his house a few days ago. I had promised I wouldn't, but I really wanted to know! I wanted to hear his voice. So giving in, my right index finger started tapping the familiar numbers in the correct sequence that would reach Raivis's home phone. I pressed the phone to my ear and heard it ring a few times. It rang a few more times. And a few more times. Raivis's phone was obviously so old that he didn't have any answering machine or anything, so it'd just keep ringing. I honestly waited several minutes for him to pick up, hearing his voice ring out "Don't call" in my head with each pausing moment of silence. "D-don't call, Peter," …Ring… "Peter, don't," …Ring…He kept warning me but I wasn't paying attention.

Devastated, I hung up the phone. Two things could have happened: He was already with Russia, or he was too scared to pick up the phone. I had to go see for myself. I prayed he was at home, cowering in some corner, crying his eyes out. Too scared to even pick up a phone. It was still late morning, so I threw on some clothes and left my pajamas in a heap on the floor. Finland would scold me later about this, but I could care less. My pajamas could lie on the floor for another year if I had enough time to talk to Raivis again. I quickly tromped down the stairs, bounding off the last step and took off in a running leap. I heard Finland call after me, probably asking where I was headed to in such a hurry, but I didn't respond, and flew out the door. I remembered how to get to Latvia's house. It was so easy. I followed the same paths and jumped over the same familiar obstacles-like a rock in the way.

By this time, I was already huffing and puffing, but I forced myself to keep going. I had respected him enough to set aside my desire to see him for a few days, but now it had all just pooled up and I knew I needed to see him. I needed to, I needed to. I saw his house in the distance, pushing myself even more to get to it sooner. I stumbled upon his door, quite out of breath for my frantic sprint. I looked at his door, there weren't any recently made markings, but when I twisted the golden doorknob, it had opened right to me. The door stepped aside for me to enter, and I did, still feeling breathless. Raivis's house was cold, like no one had been here in, well-days. I wandered in further, noting that the fireplace was nothing but ashes. There weren't any logs anywhere near it and every room seemed utterly cold. I wandered passed that room and into his kitchen, where there was a window and the light shone through. His kitchen seemed pale and stark. All of the cups were put away; the fridge was completely empty when I poked my head in to check if there was anything in it at all. Everything in his house was clean, empty, or unused. I blinked several times, mentally checking off the rooms in his house.

I walked down his hallway, hoping that he was perhaps in his bedroom. "Raivis?" I called out weakly, feeling myself start to tear up. "R-Raivis? Are you there?" There was no reply, and I pushed open the thin door to his room. There, on the floor, was Raivis, looking up at me with tear-streaming eyes. I started crying too, and only knelt down to him and realized that it was just my imagination. My expression dimmed and I stood up, sniffling. That was the same expression he wore when Russia came-wasn't it? Why did I have to see that expression? Why couldn't I see him sleeping peacefully in his bed over there? Even if it was just my imagination, why did he have to look so scared? Is it…Is it because I'm being selfish, like Russia? But…But Raivis and I loved each other. I wasn't just thoughtlessly doing whatever I wanted! I was just trying to help him. I only was trying to help…

I walked further into his room, noting that all of the sheets and pillows were pulled off of the bed, leaving just an abandoned mattress on the bed frame. I opened the closet on the right, revealing that all of the bedding things were in there, and completely clean and unused. It seemed as though Raivis has tidied up his house in the same manner that people clean up their hotel room before leaving. I let out the tears I had been trying to hold back. So he was already gone. He left without telling me. Why did you have to do that? I sat down on the bare mattress and just cried. I sobbed quietly, feeling dismal that he was gone now. The only way he'd come back is if Papa and Finland could do something. So really, I wasn't helping anyone.

Who knew what Raivis was feeling right now. Probably nothing what I am right now. I hardly knew Russia, but I knew that Latvia didn't like living with him. I didn't bother wiping the tears away as I left, carefully closing the battered door to the small house belonging to the country of Latvia. I wasn't going to be as stupid to go to Russia's house all by myself, but I would if it was my last resort. Now, my plan was to convince Papa and Finland into helping me. They had to! Finland should know how bad Russia is and want to help! At least, I wanted it to work that way. I wanted them all to help me.

I trudged home, opening the door slowly and closed it behind me. "P-Peter!?" Finland cried excitedly, rushing up to me. "What happened, are you hurt?" He probably got frantic when he saw me crying.

I looked up at him, my eyes burning from crying so much."Latvia belongs to Russia now. I went to his house to see if he was just being scared or something, but he's not there!"

Finland's worried expression dimmed and he placed a hand on my shoulder. "I want to go save him!" I told Finland. "I want to go rescue him from Russia. But I can't, by myself. You and Papa need to help me!"

I could see Finland was stumbling over his words, "But…Peter, if we try to take Latvia back…then Russia just do the same."

"But!" I persisted, "What did you do when you were being controlled by that Denmark guy or whatever? You ran away! But you fled with Papa, so you had each other! But Russia only wants Raivis, and Raivis won't run away by himself. We need to get him out! Raivis shouldn't have to deal with him because stupid Russia can't make any real friends!"

Finland spoke in a soft voice; I assumed he was remembering how he fled with Papa. "I know that seems like a good plan in your head, but it won't be that easy. Russia has been doing this to Latvia for a long time, Peter."

"But we have to fight back to make him stop!" I protested, crying again. Why wasn't anyone going to listen to me?

"This isn't time for a fight, Peter," Finland said to me seriously, his eyes solid and unyielding. "We're not going to get in a fight for this, Peter. Russia will probably let him go in a few years, and then you can see him again. A fight against Russia won't make anything better."

I scrunched up my face and tightened my fists, and Finland removed his hands from my shoulders. Why did no one listen to me!? Why did everyone think that the way I went about things was 'stupid' or 'wrong'!? I stomped loudly and angrily as I ascended the stairs to my room. I opened the door and slammed it, fuming angrily. I jumped onto my bed, burying my face into my pillows. I tried to think of things I could do for him. If I ran over to Russia's house to try to get Raivis back, I'd probably get caught by Russia, and then Papa and Finland would have to get me back. They probably wouldn't get Raivis back, and so other than seeing him for just a bit, that plan would be stupid and useless. Finland and Papa didn't seem too eager to help me get Raivis back, so then, that left the last option-waiting.

So I'd have to wait a few years for him to be independent again? I'd have to wait a few years before seeing him again? I didn't think I could do that. How could he be so close to me, but I couldn't do anything to help him? Why couldn't I protect him? I loved him, and every day I didn't see him, I just wanted to see him more. I just wallowed in my room for hours. I didn't come out, and I didn't want to. I didn't want to wait for Raivis because I wanted to see him now.

I heard a knock on my door hours after I had slammed it and Papa entered, closing it quietly behind him. "'S'dinner t'me, See'lind."

"I'm not hungry," I said, turning away from him. I didn't want to eat. I didn't want to think of what was happening to Raivis at this very moment. How was Russia treating him? Probably yelling at him and abusing him or something like that. I remembered the terrified look I saw on his face as I had walked into his room this morning. The same one he wore when Russia barged into his room in the middle of the night. He wore that face when Russia was around? I had never seen Raivis grimace like that. So he dreaded Russia above all things. As I thought about that, my own wants and desires seemed so stupid compared to his. He only wanted freedom.

I heard Papa shuffle towards me, "A'r ya jus' gunna stay'in here tha' whole t'me?"

I pondered this for a moment. Maybe I would. I felt Papa's hand on the shoulder nearest him. "Lyin' ar'nd isn't gunna help La'via. When'yur old'r, you'll rea'liz, that a y'r is nothin'. We 'afta wait'fer all sortsa thins. You'shd be tryin' ta get stron'er. If ya do, when Rush'a releas'z 'im, you'll be able'ta protect'im the next t'me ar'nd."

Papa did have a point. But waiting would be so painful. I didn't even know how long I'd be waiting. Years, I imagined. But how many years? How long would I have to wait for Russia to get tired of Raivis and abandon him? I wouldn't be able to hear from him, wouldn't be able to see him or know anything about what was happening to him. But I'd have to keep waiting, huh?

"Okay," I muttered in response to Papa, and he tapped my shoulder once as he left my room, closing the door quietly. None of my 'Rescue-Raivis' plans would work, and my parents already knew that beforehand. They weren't trying to be mean or cruel towards me or anything like that; they just knew that they couldn't really do anything at this point.

And neither could I. I couldn't do anything for him right now other than think of him. I remembered his soft, kind smile. What had all seemed so sudden a few weeks ago changed. I wished that we had both been secretly in love with each other, and not just him in love with me. So that way, when he confessed in a shout, we'd have understood each other more. Why did I have to be so slow and stupid all the time?

I wish I was stronger.

There was a phone in my room, and it rung faintly. I sprung up, blinking at it. It rang again. So…it wasn't my imagination. I crawled towards it and picked it up gingerly, "Hello?" I said into the phone's speaker, waiting for the caller to respond. "Ah, P-Peter!" It was Raivis. "I h-have to m-make this c-call q-quick-ly b-because Ivan's…o-out of th-the house…B-but I w-wanted to tell y-you t-that I'm okay…D-don't try to c-come an-and get me…" He started crying now, though I could still understand him. "J-just w-wait f-for me…"

"Raivis!" I exclaimed, "I'll wait too. I told myself I'd have to wait. I'll wait to see you. I love you. I really, really love you, Raivis."

I could hear Raivis's smile through his voice, though he was still crying. "I-I'm…glad. I'll t-try to c-call when-whenever Iv-Ivan's out of th-the house…B-but don't c-come over! A-and d-don't call! J-just…w-wait…for me."

"I will," I replied softly. And Raivis hung up the phone.